Are you puzzled about Social Communication? Want to find out more?

In recent years, there has been an increase in talk around ‘social communication’ and ‘social communication difficulties’. Often, we think about these difficulties being related to Autism. Social communication is, indeed, one of the diagnostic criteria alongside social interaction and repetitive and restricted behaviours.

However, Social (Pragmatic) Communication Disorder in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM 5) has it’s own diagnostic criteria aside from Autism.  

But what exactly is ‘social communication’? Here I want to take time to unravel a few mysteries surrounding this seemingly rather vague term.

If we consider speech as referring to the sounds required to form words, and language referring to the our ability to understand the meaning of and use these words in sentences, stories and conversations – the syntax and grammar of sentences, then what is communication?   

Communication refers to everything in-between!

Communication refers to how we use our speech and language skills to interact with others. Therefore, communication is, in essence, a social action, and every social interaction is unique. Hence, to be competent communicators, we must develop the ability to be flexible with our language and adapt our communication style according to whatever situation we find ourselves in.

This group of skills is often referred to as social communication or pragmatics.

Communication is far more complex than we think. Not only does it require an exchange of information from speaker to listener, but it also requires the speaker to interpret the message correctly. Choosing the right words, from a vast library of possibilities, to express what we want or need is just the start of it. As if this wasn’t hard enough, we also have to contend with the ‘rules’ that govern conversation, the subtle gestures or the tone of someone’s voice that can completely change the way we interpret what they mean.

And all of these happen seemingly instantaneously.

Every child knows that when a parent calls their name in particular tone of voice, they are in big trouble!!

Ultimately, our communication ‘toolkit’ is made up of more than just words. With words alone, our ability to communicate effectively is restricted. We just don’t have enough words to convey all that we wish to convey. That’s where social communication comes in. These are skills that we can use to help give our words new meaning, such as an enthusiastic tone of voice to show our true gratitude or a subtle change in facial expression to signal our discomfort. It is important that we can use these skills as well as understand when others are using them. 

How it causes difficulty?

The type of communication that most of people use, be it conscious or not, we could call total communication. Total communication is a way of using as many tools as we can to convey the right message, such as tone of voice, gesture, facial expression etc. Typically, our nonverbal communication will support our verbal message, whether this is our facial expression when giving someone bad news or the tone of our voice when we say that we are ‘so happy to see you!’ With all these variables it is no wonder that sometimes the meaning of a message becomes lost.

It is when what we say (verbal) does not match with how we say it (nonverbal), or when we do not ‘read the signs’  that problems occur.

It is often said that 90% of what we communicate does not come from our words but from our non-verbal language. Non-verbal language refers to everything else that we use to help communicate our message, besides the words themselves. These could include, but are not restricted to, our facial expression, hand gestures, body language, the proximity to our conversation partner and so on.

This suggests that only 10% of what we communicate comes from the words we choose. The exact percentage is unimportant. What is important is that we don’t often say what we mean or mean what we say. We call this pragmatics or social communication. Pragmatics looks beyond the literal meaning of words, considering the situation or context in which a conversation is taking place. It addresses the complexities in transferring a speaker’s intentional message to the listener. Pragmatics considers how language is used in social interactions. Fundamentally knowing what to say and how to say it or knowing when to say nothing at all!

Take an example:

Speaker: ‘Are you putting the kettle on?

This example demonstrates that meaning in conversation is heavily dependent upon context- either from the content of the rest of the conversation or the physical environment in which the conversation is taking place.

It could be that this is a request for a hot drink. It could also be reminder to someone who may have forgotten they were going to put the kettle. Equally, it could be a clarification  – are you doing it or am I?

 I’m sure you may also come up with some other scenarios.

For a moment think about how difficult it is to handle an emotional conversation over the phone, or how easily the intended meaning of a text message can become lost. This supports the idea that communication is about more than just the words we use. So what else are we using to communicate?

Broadly speaking, pragmatics can be divided into 3 communication skills: many of which we may take for granted, but soon become apparent if an individual is having difficulty using or understanding these skills.   

1.)    Using language for different functions

-          We can use language for endless reasons; to greet, to share ideas, to interact, to request, to demand and to inform. It is vital that we understand and are able to use these language functions appropriately.

2.)    Adapting  language

-          Naturally, many of us would not speak with a baby the way we would with an adult. We may talk more formally with our boss than we would with a friend. This ability to adjust our language to the most appropriate style requires an awareness of social communication.  

3.)    Following the ‘unwritten’ rules

-          Many subtle rules govern conversations in an attempt to make them run smoothly (as is possible).

-          These may include; turn-taking, maintaining or shifting the conversation topic, maintaining appropriate proximity, ending conversations, using eye-contact, gesture and rephrasing when misunderstood.

It is important to note that these ‘rules’ will differ across and within cultures and it is important to acknowledge the ‘rules’ of your conversation partner.

Crucially, these skills are emerging and developing in children even before they can understand and utter a single word.

If you have ever had the experience of interacting with an infant, from the first month, they are already copying your mouth movements, you can interpret their different cries and gurgles, they will even take turns with you. This is social communication at it’s most fundamental.

It is also important to point out that these skills go on developing and maturing into adulthood.

How to pin-point what it is a child finds difficult.

In some cases, difficulties with the social use of language may seem obvious. The child is not responding to you. They may be talking but are not communicating with you. They seem uninterested in talking with you.

There are several reasons why a person might have problems with social communication, and it might not be due to Autism or Autism Spectrum Disorder. Social communication difficulties need careful assessment. These assessments should be carried out by a Speech and Language Therapist, who will know what to look for and will provide a detailed account of a person’s strengths and difficulties in regard to social language.

Children may experience difficulty in both using and understanding others’ social communication. We often use sarcasm, tone of voice, facial expression or gesture to highlight the true meaning of our message. However, a child who struggles to understand social communication may miss these cues. Ultimately this will lead to the child misunderstanding the speakers intended meaning. 

What can I do to encourage social and pragmatic skills at home?

Many children pick up these skills incidentally, but for others these are not picked up so easily. As these skills don’t happen in isolation they cannot be taught in the same way as grammar or spelling. Instead we learn and teach through experience, through modelling and role-play. 

Research suggests that once we learn to read the non-verbal signals of someone else we become more aware of them in ourselves. Therefore, an ideal way to practice social-skills is through role play and imitation.

Shared activities at home are the easiest way to encourage social communication. Encouraging participation in home tasks, preparing meals, cleaning up, playing family games all help to encourage a child to learn from others the ‘social rules’ that are needed to get along. So, switching the screens off and talking is important. Even if your child is not participating actively, they will be exposed to peoples’ conversations and this is what is important.

Social Skills resources such as ‘Socially Speaking’ and ‘TalkAbout’ are great for teasing apart all the subtle skills that make up the bigger picture. Social Stories by Carol Gray can help provide a child with a ‘guide’ on how to act in situations they may find confusing or challenging.

To summarise

Communication is much more complicated than the words we use. It is no surprise that some children may experience difficulty remembering, using and understanding all the different types of social communication. But help is at hand!

Want to know more?

Keep your eyes peeled for further advice on how to

·       Find out if your child has social communication difficulties

·       Encourage and develop social communication skills

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